Why do People Fight on Vacation?

Let’s be honest, is it really a vacation if you don’t at least have one argument with your other half or a family member?

Despite the fact that you are there to spend time with the people or person you love, there is always that little thing that can happen that causes a couples fight or a family to blow up at one another.

According to a survey by consulting firm Korn Ferry, fifty-four percent of people have said that when they are spending quality time with their loved one on vacation, they have gotten into an argument with them, normally related to how much they are working when they are meant to be on romantic getaways.

This is a core reason why they argue the most while on holiday.

Whilst difficult conversations are going to be had, it is important to understand why people fight when they are on vacation (more specifically couples for today’s article) and how to avoid fighting so that your ‘perfect vacation’ is at least more happy than sad.

Why is Going on Vacation Together Important?

When couples spend time together it can bring them a lot closer, however, there is such a thing as too much time in each other’s space, which is why couples fight.

Issues Are Brought Out Into The Open

Vacationing for the first time can be incredibly fun, but if you are going for a week or two, their little quirks and annoyances can be magnified in confined spaces, which may make you wish for some alone time in your hotel room, but this is not realistic as you will be sharing a room for your entire stay.

Can Help All Types Of Couples

Vacations can support your bond with your partner and build on your relationship during the trip. It can help with starting a relationship off in a great way, or it can rekindle a flame that couples thought they had lost.

A Relationship Counsellor Weighs In

Dr. Suzanne Degges White says that it can help people with cementing that feeling of attraction and opening each other up to new experiences.

It can also show each other what type of ‘vacationer’ the other one is, helping them better understand what they like and dislike which can show their personality more.

Whilst it is important to see them in a new light, this can lead to some fighting about what they should do and where they should go with their time away.

This is why Dr. Degges White recommends couples create a list of what they want to see and whittle it down to a solid plan with a travel wish list. It will assist with avoiding conflict and having everything planned out beforehand.

So, whether you are taking a vacation in San Francisco or you are abroad in some hot country, a list could stop the fighting with your partner and create a stress-free atmosphere.

Reasons Why People Fight On Vacation

We have touched on why people fight on vacation, from working too much to not planning and communicating accordingly, but why else would people fight on vacation? Let’s read on to learn more about these reasons.

Fighting About Money

This is not just about spending a lot of money on flights and hotel stays, but it is about how money is being spent on vacations.

It has been noted that women would rather spend money on shopping and experiences, whilst men would rather spend it on food and drinks to have a good time.

That’s not to say that women don’t want to have a ‘good time’ or that men don’t want to explore, but there seems to be a difference in what they individually want.

If you are holidaying with someone who is careful about money, this can cause a lot of tension, not only for them as they may see you as someone who doesn’t care about being careful, but for you as well because you may think that you can’t go anywhere or do anything in case they get mad.

Being Late

If you have pre-planned places to go such as entertainment or activities as well as restaurant bookings, then you may be the one who likes to be early or on time so that you don’t miss out or your booking gets taken away.

If you are on holiday with someone who is not good at timekeeping, this can be incredibly frustrating for you to deal with, and it may lead to arguments.

This can be heightened if you are someone who gets anxious when out of your comfort zone or when you fly, so you need their support, which can be hard to get if they are chronically late or don’t seem bothered.

Spending Way Too Much Time Together

Still have love goggles on? Wonderful. They will fall right off when you realize that you cannot even spend a night away from this person as you are sharing a room with them and have activities booked throughout the whole day and week.

This can be quite jarring for new couples, even if they spend a lot of time together back home, they still have their own houses to go to and jobs to do during the day, so if they are new, then this can feel a lot all at once.

Even seasoned couples may find this a strain, especially as it takes them out of their normal routine. Even if they live together at home, they still have their own spaces. Being on holiday makes everything they live with more heightened.

Having a Wandering Eye

Heat and alcohol do not always mix well and sometimes there are cases where one of you may be checking out others on the beach or by the pool which can make the other one jealous.

You may not mean to do it, but it happens. If your partner notices, then you better prepare yourself for a fight as they are not going to back down from that one.

They will want to talk/shout this out with you, and with the addition of alcohol, it may be in a public place.

How to Calm Down The Fighting

No one wants to fight on vacation, so if you think that an argument is about to start or you want to put the steps in place beforehand to stop it entirely, then here are some ways that you can accomplish that.

Have a Discussion Before You Leave

Talk with your significant other before you go on holiday. Talk to them about your expectations and what you would like to do. Make a list of the things you both would like to do together as well as alone.

Just because you are there together doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time with them, this vacation is about you being together but it is also about your own relaxation.

You should also talk about things you really do not want to do. If one of you wants to do something and the other is not happy with it, then they can do it as their alone activity. You are both going to an unfamiliar country (maybe), so you need to be each other’s support.

Try and be Flexible

You may specifically like to do some things, but that doesn’t mean you should stop doing new things entirely.

You can broaden your horizons and try things out when you are away.

If you really are against something then you don’t have to do it, but if there is an activity that you think is interesting, why not go and check it out just in case you do actually like it? It could be something else you both bond on.

Focus on Each Other

During the times that you are together on vacation, be focused on each other and give your full attention so they know you care.

Doing an activity together or just relaxing together is important, so make it an enjoyable time and communicate with them properly.

When they are talking, listen to them, and when they are doing something, watch what they are doing and respond. This can help strengthen your relationship.

Conclusion

The question – “why do people fight on vacation?” is hopefully answered for you now and you can better plan your vacation when you take off with your other half.

It is meant to be a time for both of you to enjoy, so be kind to each other and understand that tempers will flare at points but this vacation is all about relaxation and loving one another.